I’m all for Google Translate, but sometimes I don’t even understand what someone is saying. Take for example an email I received on our ManoaDNA.com information line…

Date: January 18, 2010 1:18:24 AM HST
Subject: Zako kikatili nchi ni mtu mbaya kuitumikia nchi ambayo watoto wa bahari Valar samaki.

Now, as a frequent email user, I know to look out for bad emails or “junk mail,” but for some reason I smelled an extra dose of crazy in this one and decided to see what it’s all about.

A Happy New Year
Hii email aliyetumwa kutoka Ujapani.

There was a supposed translation of this nonsense at the bottom of the email, so supposedly that means “This email has been sent from Japan.” I know the Japanese language, and “aliyetumwa” is no Japanese. Unless this is the first pig-Japanese (as opposed to Latin) email that I have received…

Anyway it goes on to talk about something with the US, and whales, and oil, and some sort of electric wave…

U.S.A. only do the robbery war /thief the invention of foreign country / fraud / blackmail with the electric wave after it was taught electric wave.

Oh, it get’s better…

The fish is rich in the mineral of the sea and grinds a human brain excellently.

Go on…

Because you still sell a lot of fish in a Japanese total shop, do not you understand it?

I see. So what are you saying?

It is the bait of the fish without floating if the electric wave guide the whales to the deep bottom of the sea by an electric wave and murder the whales.

That sounds bad, can you elaborate?

The delicious large size whales at the South Pole and coaxes the world in conspiracy with U.S.A. and does Japan and the United States conspiracy strategy to threaten the world.

So what can I do about it?

Do not buy American Electric / car of GM / Cadillac / Buick / Pontiac / Chevrolet / Saturn / HUMMER / NUMMI / Ford / Lincoln / Mercury / Shelby / SSC / Chrysler / Jeep / Dodge / Saleen / Freightliner / Sterling Trucks / Paccar / PETERBILT / KENWORTH / DAF / MACK / Navistar / AVANTI / Panoz / Ci / Zeta / Mosler / Vision / Callaway / Hennessey / Tesla!

Thank you crazy email person. I will make a movie out of this…